37-year-old asks friend to keep her cat while she moves, promises to fund the foster process, but disappears for four years: 'It hasn't been her cat in years, she abandoned it.'

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Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Feb 26, 2026 1:00 PM EST

We think that "don't do to your pet what you wouldn't do to your kid" is a rule of thumb that every pet pawrent should adhere to, no exceptions.

Think about it: As you wouldn't prevent your kid from having a meal, you shouldn't prevent your pet from having a meal. As you wouldn't raise your hand on your kid, you should definitely never raise your hand on your pet. As you wouldn't abandon your kid in a stranger's house to never be heard from again, you should never abandon your pet like that. But this one woman abandoned her cat just like that. And we'll never understand why anyone would think this is an acceptable behavior.

What in the world could make a person abandon their cat, their pet that they adopted? Sure, she might've thought she was leaving her with a friend, in a safe space, but the friend wasn't the one adopting, committing, or wanting a cat. When you adopt, you adopt the responsibility for the cat, period. You are the one in charge of their well-being, their health, and their life. How could someone just… leave a cat?

Despite this being beyond our understanding, we love that the wholesome online feline family comes to the aid each and every time - with good advice, with listening ears, and with a worldwide shared love for cats.

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  • 01
    So a friend of mine named Anna (F37) contacted me and asked if there was any way I could keep her cat with me, due to her moving out of state.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 02
    I happily obliged because I figured there would be no issues and she had offered to pay me for her food, vet bills, and other necessities and she had also told me that she was coming back to get her in about a year or a little over a year.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 03
    Cat lying down on the floor, looking sad.
    via Azaliya

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    Cat lying down on the floor, looking sad.

  • 04
    Well, her cat and my other pets unfortunately did not get along, so I tried to give it a couple of weeks, still no luck.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 05
    There was a huge fight between her cat, my cat and my dog, so at that point, I called her and told her I don't think it was possible for me to keep her.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 06
    She got angry and said I didn't give her enough time to adapt, but I told her that's because I didn't want another fight between all of them and for it to end badly.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 07
    So my boyfriend, whom lived about 25-30 minutes away, and I were talking about it and I told him I didn't know what I should do.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 08
    That's when he offered to take her in, since he didn't have any animals at the time.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 09
    It worked out well and I told my friend and she was ok with it and told me she would still pay for her to be taken care of, so all was well....
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 10
    or so I thought. Skip ahead to about 1 year later. She hasn't even sent one penny to contribute to her cats care.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 11
    I messaged her and asked her if she wouldn't care to compensate for the toys, treats, cat litter, etc that my bf had bought for her cat.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 12
    She left me on read. Skip ahead to September of 2025, so about 3 years after asking her for money for her cat that my bf was taking care of.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 13
    All together, 4 years after she had left for California. I messaged her and asked her what was up and how she had been.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524

  • Four years? Four years! That's way too much time apart to dare calling this cat hers anymore. Not that it seems like she tries to claim ownership over her. As if she gave up on her own cat. Who would do that? Only people who are not worthy of a cat's love and friendship, that's for sure. This cat deserves so much better than what her original human gave her - which is abandonment and complete ghosting. Even worse than what she did to her friend, who agreed to keep her cat safe. You can't explain this situation to a cat with words - she just feels abandoned.

  • 14
    No response. I then told her that I was sorry for bothering her, but wanted to know when she was coming to get her cat, since it had been 3 years past the original plan.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 15
    She had said she would come get her around the beginning/mid October. So October comes and goes and......
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 16
    nothing.... my bf can't have her where he's staying at and she isn't willing to come get her and just generally doesn't seem to give a f about her.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 17
    Never asked how she was doing, I, she didn't even know that she was still alive...
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 18
    My bf and I were discussing on giving her to a good home, but we are also weary because she is technically her cat and we don't want to step on any toes.
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 19
    But she won't come get her when we ask her... so WIBTA if I found a good home for her??
    via Hot-Butterfly3524
  • 20
    Woman texting on her phone, looking angry.
    via MAILAI from Pixabay

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    Woman texting on her phone, looking angry.

  • 21
    Artistic-Tough-7764 It's your \[bf's\] cat now. Would be kind of awful to rehome her yet again, but you gotta do what ya gotta do.
    via Artistic-Tough-7764
  • 22
    okbyeb■ch_ It isn't her car anymore it is your bfs..
    via okbyeb**ch_

  • We definitely agree with the sentiment of these couple of comments. This cat is no longer “a friend's cat”. After all these years spent in the boyfriend's house, this cat probably calls it home. And when a cat settles, they become territorial and extra-fond of the place they deem as theirs. So it's really horrible to rehome a cat so many times - it's best to move a cat houses only if necessary. But here? It really doesn't seem necessary at this point. She belongs to the boyfriend. Someone should've updated the guy he owns a cat for a few years now…

  • 23
    KC_Nelson This poor baby has been rehomed so many times. How can your BG give her away? After 4 years, isn't he attached to her at all?
    via KC_Nelson
  • 24
    If you still want to rehome her, please do not take her to a shelter. Work with a local rescue. Let them know the cat was abandoned, and you are willing to foster her until an adopter is found.
    via KC_Nelson
  • 25
    Shelters are so stressful for them, and they are at risk of being euthanized.
    via KC_Nelson
  • 26
    KirsOfKurves Obviously she doesn't give a rats a about "her" cat. If she did she would have stuck to her word and helped financially and have came and got her back like the original plan. Also to note: you said she doesn't even know if the cat is still alive or not AND it's been 3 years. That right there tells me she has forefitted her rights as owner. This is a temporary situation that has turned permanent. You did what you said you both agreed to and she didn't. If your bf can't keep her then
    via KirsOfKurves
  • 27
    Caspian4136 It hasn't been her cat in years, she abandoned it.
    via Caspian4136
  • 28
    MissionHoneydew2209 In what world is that not your boyfriend's cat?
    via MissionHoneydew2209
  • 29
    Funky56 I think your friend pulled the orphan trick on you. She never planed to take the cat back. If your bf doesn't want the cat too, it's best to find another home give to the animal shelter in your city if it exists
    via Funky56
  • 30
    Alarming_Pepper_331 Not her cat anymore. She abandoned it
    via Alarming_Pepper_331
  • 31
    United Relief_2949 she hasn't taken care of her that cat belongs to your bf. I feel bad for that cat. if you do rehome her again try to find one that will be a permanent solution. cats often don't do well bouncing around from home to home.
    via United_Relief_2949
  • 32
    Camel Holocaust She abandoned her cat, if you and your boyfriend don't like the cat, find a new home for it where it can be happy. The friend should be cut off completely, she sounds like a horrible person.
    via Camel_Holocaust

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boyfriend friendship feud cat drama foster friends entitled Cats entitled people
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